Thursday, December 29, 2011

Healthy Hula Hoops: How to Have Healthy Boundaries



Imagine that you and all human beings have a hula hoop around them, just floating in space. In this hula hoop resides your rights as a person, your feelings, your needs, your preferences, your desires as well as your dislikes. In essence, the hula hoop is the physical boundary of your personal space.

Every one is happiest and healthiest when their hula hoops are close to one another, but not touching, just like this:

Unfortunately, in many families and romantic relationships, personal boundaries look more like this:
In the overlapping area lies are great source of confusion. In these relationships, we do not know whose rights are whose, whose feeling are whose, and whose responsibilities are whose. In essence, we lose a part of who we are in the relationship because the boundaries are unclear.

And so when you try to separate yourself from unhealthy boundaries in a relationship, it is common for their to be a strong reaction from the other person, as they are still confused about where your boundaries are. 

And so, it is your job to education them. Setting boundaries is not about controlling a situation or another person – it is more about honoring and protecting yourself. When you can keep your awareness in your own hula hoop and not jump into someone else's, then you will get to know your boundaries and needs, and be better able to communicate them to others. 

So pay attention and ask yourself the following questions:
  • What do I want/need right now that I am not acting on because of concerns of how my choices will affect other people?
  • Have I communicated my boundary to the other person in a clear, direct way? (eg. I feel angry when you tell me I can't spend time with my friends because I have a right to have friendships outside of this marriage.)
  • Have I set my boundary and stuck to it? Or have I been bullied/guilted back into doing what other people want me to do instead of what I need to do?
  • Do I need to set a stronger boundary in order to protect myself?
It is also important to keep in mind that boundary setting takes practice and you may be not that skilled at it in the beginning. You may struggle with not knowing exactly what being assertive feels like and you may err on either the side of being too passive or too aggressive. Be patient with yourself. Keep in mind that setting boundaries is not necessaryily about drawing lines in the sand and creating ultimatums. It is about speaking your mind authentically, being mindful of other people's boundaries, and respect yourself and others.

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, Angela Dawn MacKay 

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Unravel my Riddle

Some say I'm addicted,
but I don't think so – I say
I'm in love.

Some say I have too many,
that I don't need any more,
but I don't think so – I say
you can never have enough.

I say I'm in love with the
flip, flip, flip,
with smell of old paper,
and the comfort of bed,
with the soft, down pillow
propped up under my head.

I say I'm in love with the
the soft evening light,
the hot chocolate and the fire,
I do say, my friend, is all I desire.

To curl up with one, or
curl up with a pile,
either way, doesn't matter,
for they both make me smile.

With a cat on my chest,
and a dog at my feet,
there's nothing better,
nothing so sweet.

What am I ?

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, Angela Dawn MacKay 
www.knottedwordscelticart.comTwitter: @AngelaDMac, www.angelamackay.com

Monday, October 3, 2011

Ivan the Impatient Caterpillar

Ivan the Caterpillar was not patient at all.
He couldn't wait for anything, neither big or small.
Most of all, Ivan wanted to fly high in the sky,
never be happy 'til he became a butterfly.

“I wanna fly high in the sky
'cause I wanna be a butterfly.
Can't wait til I'm older, I wanna fly now,
fly high in the sky and I don't care how!”
Ivan sang as he wiggled along.

He climbed up the apple tree,
climbing as high as you can see,
and saw something near the buzzing beehive,
glimmering, shimmering, as if it were alive,
a golden leaf - sheek, shiny and wide;
perfect for a magic carpet ride!

It darted under Ivan, stopping right there,
hovering, hovering - waiting in mid-air,
waiting for a caterpillar to hop on board.
Ivan hopped on and away they soared!

They flew up and they flew down,
in zigzags, spirals, and all around.
Flying so fast, Ivan hung on tight,
hugging the leaf with all of his might!

Then Ivan, he lost his grip.
Off the magic leaf, he did slip.
Down, down, he went, starting to fall.
That's not want he wanted - No, not at all!

Down, down, he went, past the beehive.
Down, down, he went, in a nose-dive.

Now, what do you think will catch his fall?
A sparrow, wheelbarrow, or anything at all?

Will he fall flat on his face,
splattering all over the place?
Or will he land, safe and sound,
softly, softly, on the ground?

Well, Ivan fell hard and he fell fast,
but landed softly, safe at last.
Up out of a buttercup, he did climb,
climbing, climbing up a slimy vine.

As Ivan slipped and slid along,
he saw a thing, skinny and long,
a thing with wings that fluttered and flew,
and Ivan that saw it was someone he knew!

He lifted a leg, just about to say “Hi!”
to his friend, Daring Darla the Dragonfly.

Then Ivan, he lost his grip,
Off the slimy vine, he did slip.
Down, down, he went, starting to fall.
That's not what he wanted - No, not at all!

Now, what do you think will catch his fall?
A chick-a-dee, a bumblebee, or anything at all?

Will he fall straight into the ground,
down so far he'll never be found?
Or will he plummet into Fish Pond,
sinking, sinking, deep down and beyond?

Or will something save him from this disasterous fall?
Will anything save him, anything at all?

You guessed right if you thought it might be
Darla the Dragonfly, fast and carefree.

“Oh. Hi, Ivan – what were you doing up there?”
Darla asked as they dashed through the air.

“Well, I wanna fly high in the sky
'cause I wanna be a butterfly."
 Ivan did reply.
"Can't wait til I'm older, I wanna fly now,
fly high in the sky and I don't care how!”

They flew up and they flew down,
in zigzags, spirals, and all around.
Flying so fast, Ivan hung on tight,
hugging Darla with all of his might.

Suddenly, Darla dove down fast.
Down, down, they went, having a blast!
But then something went terribly wrong –
the wind was blowing terribly strong!

Down, down, they went, in a nose dive.
Down, down, they went, towards the beehive.
Darla dashed out with just a minute to spare,
then noticed that Ivan was no longer there.

Bouncing off a cloud like a diving board,
diving, diving, Ivan spun and soared!
Just for a moment, Ivan started to smile –
he was finally flying, flying freestyle!

Down, down, he went, past the beehive.
Down, down, he went, in a nose-dive.

Ivan started to panic and move around!
His little legs climbed so he wouldn't go down.
Fish Pond was approaching very fast,
as Ivan plummeted at full blast!

He turned bright green and he started to yell,
“Oh, my! I don't really feel so well!
I'm really scared and I don't know why
I couldn't wait to be a butterfly!”

Ivan hit the water with a belly-flop,
hitting it so hard with a gigantic plop!”
Splishing and splashing, Ivan coughed and choked.
Climbing up on a lily pad, he was totally soaked!

Darla flew over, rubbing her head,
Huffing and puffing, her face bright red.
“Oh, Ivan, you're all wet! Are you okay?
I know you haven't had a very good day.
Oh, why do you need to fly right now,
fly without wings when you don't know how?”

Ivan cried and cried, tears streaming down his face,
soaked with water and tears all over the place.
I've tried so hard, but all I do is fall,
I'm never good enough, so why try at all?
I give up – I don't even know why
I thought I could be a butterfly!”

Darla wiped away Ivan's tears, and with soft eyes and a gentle smile,
said all of the things Ivan needed to hear, at least once in a while.
“Oh, my dear Ivan! Why can't you see
that you're a butterfly, already?
Your butterfly wings are deep inside,
but they will soon grow big, bright, and wide.
Butterfly wings simply take time.
On the inside, dear, you're just fine!”

Beyond the lily pad, Ivan then did peer
and saw his own reflection, bright and clear.
Ivan smiled as he started to see,
His true inside, as clear as can be.

Now what do you think he saw inside?
His joy, sadness, fear, and pride?
If it had a shape, what do you think it might be?
A star, a cloud, or a wave in the sea?

Even though a caterpillar, Ivan appeared to be,
Inside, he was a butterfly, as he could now see.
I am happy, happy finally!
I am a butterfly already.
I don't have to fly to be alright,
'cause I'm a butterfly, bold and bright!”

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, Angela Dawn MacKay 
www.knottedwordscelticart.comTwitter: @AngelaDMac, www.angelamackay.com

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Growing Tree: The Importance of Connecting with Space

So, I have to laugh at myself, yet again, for, although I have lots of space/time in my life, I always seem to fill it with fun, relaxing, or spiritual activities, like yoga, meditation, and writing, and suddenly, my life doesn't feel so spacious anymore.  Then I hear myself frequently saying to others "I just need more space!" and then I have to ask myself, just what is space anyway? If I had more space in my life, what would it look like? Would it be literal, like a bigger house or a bigger living room? Would it be mental, like more space in my head? And even if I had more space, whatever that looks like, what would stop me from filling it with clutter, both mentally and physically?

So, practically speaking, why would we want more space anyway? Why not cram our day, our minds, our houses, our lives full of more stuff, more clutter: more things to do, more things to eat, more things to read, more things to clean, more toys and gadgets and movies and friends and information and furniture, fashion magazines here, cookbooks there, swimming lessons over here, laundry and ironing over there – why not have our lives as full as this sentence?

Because, like trees, all things need space to grow, need space to deal with change, need space to deal with the unexpected. Just as trees need room to spread their branches and move with the ever-changing winds and unpredictable weather conditions, so do we. If there's literally no room in our lives, then dealing with that unexpected phone call, that unexpected sewer problem, that unexpected death will be very stressful, indeed.

Let's start with the first question: what is space? Just as the space of outer space is necessary to hold the matter of the universe, the planets, the stars, and so forth, space is necessary for anything to be at all; it is the intelligent, place holder that gives all of existence an opportunity to arise and manifest as it is, whether it be a large, green sofa or a brilliant epiphany. If you've got a small living room filled with old newspapers and out-dated encyclopedias, a room with no space at all, then there literally isn't any space for a large, green sofa.

Likewise, if you've got a small mind full of all the content of all those old newspapers and outdated encyclopedias, as well as worries and to-do lists, a mind with no space at all, then there isn't any space for a brilliant epiphany to arise.

So as far as I can tell, space is both literal, physical space, as well as emotional, mental space. And as you might imagine, the two have a positive relationship: that more physical space facilitates more mental space and more mental space inspires one to connect with more physical space.

So how do we do it, how do we connect with space? As we have seen, space is always there; we don't need to create it, we just need to find it under all that clutter and rubble and connect with it in a real, direct way. Here are some ways to find it, that elusive experience of space:

    • Be Present: Come back to one of the five senses to connect with space: See the green needles on the baby pine tree, smell the Christmas tree smell, feel the prickly sensation on your fingers as you touch the pointy pine needles.
    • Create More Unscheduled Time:  Create more unscheduled time in between scheduled things, no back-to-back appointments, meetings, or the like, making sure there's more time in your day than your lists of things to do require, giving you room to deal with whatever surprises the day may bring.
    • Do Nothing: Yes, that's right, sit down and do nothing: no TV or computer or phone or even a book. Sit down and give yourself permission to do absolutely nothing.
    • De-clutter your House: Get rid of stuff: furniture, books, clothes, and clutter, remembering that increasing physical space also increases mental space.
    • Go Out into Wide Open Spaces:  Wander around in a farmer's field or a forest meadow. Experience the space a football field or the expanse of an ocean view.
    • Meditate, or practice yoga or any other mind/body practice, for their very purpose to connect with space.
    • Look Up at the Sky: the biggest space of all.                        
© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, Angela Dawn MacKay

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Be Here, Stand Tall: Thoughts on Compassionate Action


Be here and stand tall,
watching, watching, taking in it all,
all that you see, hear, feel, taste, and touch,
and when you have done that much,
you will see very naturally
what to do and how to be.

What you need to do 
will easily come through
when you breathe and let go
of all the things you thought were so.

Just pay attention and what to say
will roll off your tongue anyway,
no need to think, plan, or scheme,
just rest your mind in the stream,
and see the world like a dream,
knowing all is not as it seems,
and then you will see, oh so naturally
what to do and how to be.



© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, Angela Dawn MacKay 



Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Squirmy Squid: A Tale of Impulsivity and Hyperactivity





Squirmy Squid liked to squirm around,
backwards, sideways, and upside down.

“You will sit still!!” his teacher did say
as Squirmy Squid squirmed around all day. 
“You should take your magic pill
that helps you sit so quiet and still.”

“I will not take that magic pill!
No! No! I won’t ! I won’t sit still!”
Squirmy Squid said as he squirmed around,
backwards, sideways, and upside down.

“You will take it, yes, you will!
You will take your magic pill!”

“No! I will squirm and swim about!
I will do it! Let me out!”
Squirmy Squid said as he swam away,
out of school, out to play.

“I will find a place for me.
I will find it! You will see!
A place where squids squirm round and round,
backwards, sideways, and upside down!”

So Squirmy Squid headed to the bay
Squirming, squirming all the way.
As he swam, he saw a whale,
eating, eating a garbage pail.

“Oh, Mr. Whale, would you know
Of a place where squids can go,
where squids can squirm round and round,
backwards, sideways, and upside down?”

“I am sorry,” the whale did say.
“I do not know where in the bay
squirmy squids can go to play,
where squids can squirm round and round,
backwards, sideways, and upside down.”

So Squirmy Squid headed to the bay,
squirming, squirming all the way.
As he swam, he saw an eel,
eating, eating a banana peel.

“Oh, Mr. Eel, would you know
of a place where squids can go,
where squids can squirm round and round,
backwards, sideways, and upside down?”

“I am sorry,” the eel did say.
“I do not know where in the bay
Squirmy squids can go to play,
squids can squirm round and round,
backwards, sideways, and upside down.”

So Squirmy Squid headed to the bay
squirming, squirming all the way.
As he swam, he saw a big sea bass,
eating, eating some broken glass.

“Oh, Mr. Bass, would you know
Of a place where squids can go,
where squids can squirm round and round,
backwards, sideways, and upside down?”

“Why, yes!” the bass did say.
“I do know where in the bay
Squirmy squids can go to play,
where squids can squirm round and round,
backwards, sideways, and upside down.”

“Swim beyond the coral reef,
Go past the ship of the pirate thief.
And there below in the abyss,
Is a place you cannot miss.”

“In that abyss, you will find
The squid playground you had in mind,
where squids can squirm round and round,
backwards, sideways, and upside down.”

“Oh, Thank you, thank you!” Squirmy Squid did say.
“Thank you for your help today!”

So Squirmy Squid swam to the coral reef
And past the ship of the pirate thief.
He swam into the abyss deep below
And saw hundreds of squids squirming to and fro!

“At last, I have found a place for me!
I have found it, as you can see!”
Squirmy Squid said as he squirmed around, 
backwards, sideways, and upside down.

Then Squirmy Squid saw a squid swim by, 
squirming, squirming and saying, “Hi!
You must be new here in Squirmy Squid Town,
A place where squids squirm round and round.”

“I’m the principal at Squirmy Squid School, 
Where squirmy squids learn by different rules.
Would you like to come and see
How squirmy squids learn differently?”

“Oh, yes, I would!” Squirmy Squid did say,
As he squirmed around all day.

So they went to Squirmy Squid School,
Where learning and squirming were really cool.

“Squirmy Squids need different tools
To be able to learn in school,”
The school principle did say
To Squirmy Squid on that day.

“Give them choice, some freedom to move,
Then squirmy squids will get into the groove.
The learning groove, where work becomes play
And squirmy squids will learn everyday!”

“Some quiet time to calm their minds,
Helping them to take their time.
Smaller classes to help them focus
With lots of action and hocus pocus!”

“Working at their own squirmy pace,
Remembering that school’s not a race.
Balance rules with lots of space, 
Letting squids squirm every place!”

“You mean, being squirmy isn’t bad?” 
said Squirmy Squid, feeling sad.

“Oh, no! Not at all,” the principal said,
As he squirmed and scratched his head.
“Some squids learn best when sitting still,
Other squids learn with the magic pill.”

“Squirmy squids are not good or bad.
They are just different, so don’t be sad.
Squirmy Squid, would you like to come
To Squirmy Squid School and have some fun?”

“Yes, I would,” Squirmy Squid did say,
As he squirmed around all day.

So Squirmy Squid went back to school,
Where learning and squirming were really cool.
He worked at his own squirmy pace,
Remembering that school’s not a race.

As he learned about science and math, 
Squirmy Squid could squirm and laugh,
As other squids squirmed around,
backwards, sideways, and upside down.

“I am happy, finally!
I have found a place for me!”
Squirmy Squid said as he squirmed around,
backwards, sideways, and upside down.


© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, Angela Dawn MacKay 

Monday, June 27, 2011

Sketchy 'Squito: A Tale of Paranoia and Fear

Sketchy 'Squito hid behind the oak tree,
his big, bug eyes looking 'round carefully.
As Sketchy looked up and down, and around,
fear, death, and danger was all he ever found.

He looked up high and saw a fly trap,
sweet and sticky like maple tree sap.
He looked down low, and what do you know,
a hot, bug-zapper, ready to go.

He looked to the right and what did he see?
A fly swatter swatting as fast as can be!
He looked to the left and saw over there,
spiders lurking in their dark lair.

He looked behind him, his eyes filled with dread,
and saw mountains of mosquitos, still and dead.
He said to himself, wings above his head:
“I've got to get away from this dangerous place,
I need to find a much safer space!”

Sketchy flew along, and kept an eye out,
for the danger that always lurked about.

He shivered and shook as he fretted and flew,
for an old apple tree came into his view,
its gnarled branches like the hands of death,
ready to grab him and take his last breath.

Hiding behind a cloud like an iron shield,
Sketchy felt better, safe and concealed.

Taking a deep breath, his wings over his head,
Sketchy looked up and finally said:
“Excuse me, Tree, but do you know,
of a place where I could go,
a place where I could finally find
a safe space and some peace of mind?

The Tree smiled and did reply,
looking Sketchy straight in the eye:
“Sorry, lad, I know of no such place,
as there is fear in every space.
I don't know where you could go,
to live in peace, without fear or woe.”

Sketchy flew on, keeping an eye out,
for the danger that always lurked about.

He shivered and shook as he fretted and flew,
for an old maple tree came into his view,
with a buzzing beehive near the top,
so Sketchy screeched to a sudden stop.

Under a maple leaf, he curled up small,
hiding, hiding to get away from it all.

Taking a deep breath, his wings over his head,
Sketchy looked up and finally said:
“Excuse me, Bees, but do you know,
of a place where I could go,
a place where I could finally find
a safe space and some peace of mind?”

The bees smiled and did reply,
looking Sketchy straight in the eye:
“You must be looking for the special space,
that knows no name, time, or place.
We know of it, oh yes, we do.
But where it is, we haven't a clue.”

“But their is someone who might know,
someone high up in the Land of Snow,
an eagle high up on a mountaintop,
so icy and cold it'll make your heart stop.
But you'd be crazy to go up there!
But go on if you must, if you dare!”

So Sketchy flew high and he flew low,
he flew up to the Land of Snow.

Up, up, he went, to the mountaintop,
with crunchy cliffs and a deadly drop.
Covered in ice, Sketchy flew up high,
much higher than most mosquitos ever fly.

Nearing the top, the sun began to rise,
painting soft ripples across the skies.
Perched up high, an eagle sat alone,
silent and still on his icy throne.

With no place to hide, no where to run,
Sketchy stood still, facing the rising sun,
ready to face his fearful mind,
sick of being so scared and blind.

He took a deep breath and bowing down,
paying respect to the sacred ground.

“Excuse me, Eagle, but do you know,
of a place where I could go,
a place where I could finally find
a safe space and some peace of mind?

Still as the calm before a storm,
the eagle sat tall, in regal form.
He looked Sketchy right in the eye,
and with the rising sun nearby,
Sketchy relaxed and finally let go,
as he stood still in the Land of Snow.
His fear melted like ice in the sun,
dripping down until there was none.

The falling snow turned into rain,
washing away past fear and pain,
a rainbow appeared in the magic sky,
fluttering around like a butterfly.

As they stood, eyes locked in space,
Sketchy saw just about every place.
Both earth and sky, both peace and pain,
now seeing the rainbow as well as the rain.

Without a word, Sketchy finally saw
that when the ice of fear did thaw,
the world was very bright and clear,
no longer smothered by his constant fear.

He smiled at the Eagle; the Eagle smiled back,
nodding his head as if tipping his hat.
Sketchy bowed down, with nothing to say,
and then he continued on his way.

Down, down, he went, down the mountaintop,
with crunchy cliffs and a deadly drop.
He flew high and he flew low,
he flew away from the Land of Snow.

Sketchy flew back to the beehive,
screeching to a halt from a nosedive!
He smiled at the bees; the bees smiled back,
offering him some honey in a bug backpack.

Sketchy flew back to the old apple tree,
branches sprawling as far as can be.
He smiled at the tree; the tree smiled back,
offering him an apple as afternoon snack.

Sketchy flew and finally made his way,
to where he began his quest that day;
back to the spiders in their dark lair,
back to his home, if he did dare,
back to the zapper, and the fly trap,
sweet and sticky, like maple tree sap.
back to the swatter swatting as fast as can be,
back to his home to see what he could see.

Sketchy looked high and he looked low,
he thought of his time in the Land of Snow.
Beyond the fly trap, Sketchy did see,
the far-reaching hug of the old apple tree.

Below the bug-zapper, Sketchy did find,
a bookworm reading about peace of mind.
Beyond the fly swatter, Sketchy did spy,
a ladybug helping an old butterfly.

Behind the spiders in their dark lair,
a spry silkworm was spinning silk with care.
Beyond the mountains of dead 'squitos and bugs,
little baby beetles gave out Baby Bug Hugs.

With his wings at his side and his head held high,
Sketchy smiled and said, with a knowing sigh:
“I don't know why I had to go
all the way to the Land of Snow,
to see that here, in this dangerous place,
I have finally found a safe space.
For peace of mind is always near,
when I can see things bright and clear.”

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, Angela Dawn MacKay 
www.knottedwordscelticart.comTwitter: @AngelaDMac, www.angelamackay.com

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Slowing Down, Seeing Clear: The Joy of Being Here

      So…the broken bone is healing well (see Friday the 13th post for that story), although between it and the sprained ankle, I have slowed down. Just this past week, I've able to walk my dog, which has been quite a joy, as I really haven't been getting out much.

    And on one particular day, okay, it wasn't just any day, it was my 35th birthday, I decided I would take along my camera and see the world through the eyes of a photographer whose senses are keen and sharp. Between the sprained ankle, the sniffing dog, and the picture-taking, my walk was very slow and leisurely, indeed. I returned home feeling happy, light, and refreshed.
  
    This is not how I usually feel when I walk my dog. I will acknowledge that I sometimes hurry my dog along, rushing him to stop sniffing the oak trees and march along our usual route. But this time, the sprained ankle and the camera really helped me take it easy.

     I realized that while intend to be mindful during my day, many times I am not. I still struggle with a mind that focuses on all the things I have to do next, even though I want to pay attention to what I am doing now.
     But in order to take good pictures, one must be paying attention and so pay attention, I did. When on vacation and living abroad, I carried my camera every where, always on the look-out for the perfect shot. I saw the world with eyes of wonder and awe, appreciating every small detail, from the sand-box labelled "Dog Toilet" in London, to the children playing in the street in Cambodia, to the temples of Bangkok. Living there, I believed I lived in a majestic world, a world of richness, wonder, and delight, both beauty and pain, a bittersweet fairy tale. And yet, I seemed to think that this majestic, sacred world was elsewhere and not in my own backyard.

    But the camera, it reminded me of the beauty all around me that I never see. Living in a city that I believe I know well, I take for granted my opinions of how things look, rather than actually stopping to see how they really are.

    So now when I walk, with camera or not, I look, I see, I see beauty, for the fairy tale I thought was off afar, really is in my backyard. I look around as if I had a camera in my hand, looking for the best shot in the land. I see how things change so quickly, the mushrooms that sprouted the day before, were now squashed down into the grass and more.

    And so I thank the art of photography for helping me to see clear and just to be.


© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, Angela Dawn MacKay 

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Friday the 13th – An Ironic Tale of Losing One's Balance

    So here I sit on my sofa, my left foot elevated and on ice, my left arm taking a well needed break from my homemade sling, resting on the keyboard as I type away. What happened, you ask?
    Well, it all started the morning of Friday the 13th. I had just finished an energizing yoga practice and then went to the Second Cup for a chai latte and a writing session. It wasn't until I returned to the Yoga Shala to teach my mindfulness meditation class that all the trouble began. I had one student and was inviting her into the practice space to begin the class (very enthusiatically, of course), when I spun around too quickly, somehow fell down the three little steps leading into the room, rolled my left ankle, and landed on my left arm. I'm not sure how the whole thing happened, really, as it happened so fast. I stood up, limped around a bit, a little disoriented, with some pain in my left arm, but I could move everything so I thought I was okay.
     I taught the meditation class, very aware that I was quite distracted by the pain shifting in my body. My left foot was swollen, so I opted to sit for walking meditation and just give verbal instruction instead. About half-way through the class, I was pretty sure I had broken my left fore-arm.
     You see, I have broken many a bone before and I recognized the broken bone pain feeling, that feeling where your nerves are all screwed up, sending you signals that don't make sense when you look at the position your arm is in.
      As I sat there, my mind trying to notice the breath, I was aware of an attitude of acceptance, thoughts like "Well, you won't be doing your regular yoga practice for a while, but that's not so bad." or "It's you left arm, so you can still write."
      My writing! Just then, I remembered I was in the middle of writing a book, the second book in my children's fantasy/supernatural series. Would a broken arm stop me from writing? Absolutely not! It might slow me down, but me, stop writing? Never! I will write this book typing with one hand, if I absolutely had to!
    After the class, at the emergency department, the x-ray confirmed a very small fracture in the head of the ulna, a vulnerable spot as I had broken it before at a monastery in Northern Thailand (another story for another post). The doctors told me it was so small that there was no need for a cast or surgery, just put it in a sling, take Ibuprofen for pain, and if it hurts, don't do it.
    Once I was safely at home again, I took my arm out of the sling and did my version of air keyboard, moving my fingers wildly through the air. I smiled. I could type, by God, I could type without pain!
    While the idea of being able to write made me very happy, indeed, I could not help but wonder how this happened. How, on Friday the 13th, right before I was about to teach a mindfulness meditation class, could I lose my mindfulness so much that I could fall and break my arm in a yoga studio?
    The only answer I could come up with was excitement. I was so excited to share meditation with a new student that I completely lost all sense of what my body was doing and ended up on the floor.
    Reflecting back on my history of injuries, I realized that this was not only time I have injured myself because I got too excited. When I was 12, and my family was planning a day at Upper Clements Park, I was so excited that I ran down the hall and tumbled down a flight of hard wood stairs, luckily breaking only a couple of toes. When I was 14, and I realized that my grandmother had come for a visit, I ran towards our family room steps, moving too quickly to realize that an open window and a garden hose had left a puddle of water on the floor, and slid my foot right into the first step, no broken bones, but an awful lot of pain and bruising.
    Ahh, so I have a history of this, getting so overwhelmed with joy and anticipation that I lose my ground and my body awareness. Three times a charm, they say. Lesson learned. And so as I type with both hands, a little slower than usual, appreciating how lucky I am to be able to share this story with you just a day after it all happened, realizing how Friday the 13th could have been much, much worse than a cracked ulna and a swollen foot.


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